Lets face it kids. We all know Mario does it for the pussy. We also know Wario does it for the money but accidentally gets the pussy. The purpose of this post is to explain the dilemmas of getting the pussy and how to solve it so that you, the reader, can finally get the pussy. The pussy has been a symbol used in philosophy as a form of expressing free will; you have all heard "Man i would like to get some pussy right now!" These people are in fact expressing their freedom whether it is morally correct or not (amoralism ftw.) I am starting to sound like humans would just get pussy at will, that is not neccesarily correct. I do not condone rape as it is a way to prevent another individual's free will. So how do we overcome this dilemma? we forget about wanting to get the pussy! I will use two video games example, listed above, to prove my statement. I will start with Mario:
We are told Mario has to rescue the princess but we are not given a reason. Mario seems like a well grown human being and I have reached the conclusion that he is going through a mid life crisis. That's right kids his hormones and concept of free will plus the existential dilemma in his life led Mario to save the princess only for the pussy. In the end he doesn't get the pussy because he concentrated on the pussy! don't concentrate on the pussy!
Wario on the other hand is where is at. If Da Vinci was the ideal renaissance man then Wario is the ideal contemporary man. Wario has one purpose in life, to get as much money as possible. He doesn't care about the pussy but somehow always ends up stumbling upon it. Take Warioland 4 for example, in it Wario decides to steal everything inside a pyramid, he manages to do this and gets a princess to kiss him, teleport away, and wait for him on a hotel room.
So the moral of this post is to never look straight for the pussy but to build yourself up for it. Get the green, get the rims, and get the crib just like Wario did.